Transformers 2: Just Plain Fallen

Posted on | July 17, 2009 | 1 Comment

I was appalled.
Dismayed.
And most of all disappointed.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is one of the most disappointing movies of the year, let alone of the summer. As an OTF (Original Transformers Fan), I felt the film had none of the first movie‘s charm, unpredictability, or humanity. Not that the original film was the greatest sci-fi movie ever made; it was flawed, to be sure, but it was a fun popcorn flick with at least a semblance of some brains.

But the second time out, director Michael Bay loads up on the illogical and overlong combat scenes and forgets to bring some heart, smarts, and uniqueness. Perhaps even more sad is the fact that the screenwriters — Ehren Kruger and the writing team of Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman — decided to take a nosedive in the quality category.

In terms of basic movie writing, their script is far inferior to the original movie’s story. The opening 20 minutes or so have nothing to do with the main thrust of the story and is nothing more than an excuse for Bay to blow up more stuff, show star Shia LaBeouf in a cheesy “comedic” introduction, and exploit hot female lead Megan Fox in various suggestive poses. The rest of the screenplay is filled with predictable “twists,” forced humor, and a buttload of useless violence.

In terms of adapting a beloved pop-culture franchise, the trio fails miserably. The introduction of the Fallen (a Decepticon ancestor stuck on Earth) and his revenge plot is a bad attempt at rewriting Transformers lore that leads to little innovation and a whole lot of sound and fury that signifies nothing. And the main protagonist, Shia’s Sam, has little or no character development. And various new Autobots and Decepticons are poorly adapted from the original toyline and cartoon. For example, new Autobots Skids and Mudflap have little to do with the previous incarnations that share their names and, worse off, are racist caricatures with their jive talking and minstrel-like stupidity.

This is all especially bad when considering that Orci and Kurtman wrote the steller Star Trek redux and Kruger has penned such great fare as The Ring and Arlington Road.

What happened? Where did Revenge of the Fallen go oh so wrong?

Well, Bay is much to blame. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Rock. But let’s be honest. Bay’s not known for highly intelligent movies.

But the true missing link? John Rogers. He wrote the script for the first Transformers movie, which was later rewritten by Orci and Kurtzman. His absence is sorely missed here. Aside from being a talented writer, he — like me — is an OTF. He knew how to take the coolest parts of the toy line and a kids cartoon from the ’80s and translate that into 21st-Century coolness.

Surprisingly, I find myself totally agreeing with Roger Ebert on all his points regarding this sequel, though he did give the movie a 1-out-of-4-stars rating (or 25% approval), whereas I would give it a slightly higher 2-out-of-5-stars rating (40%).

Revenge of the Fallen is not a boring movie, it’s just not the movie it should have been.

Here are some additional fanboy gripes. ALERT: Keep in mind they contain spoilers.

• Why the Hell Does Prime Have a Mouth???
  Optimus Prime has never had a mouth in any of his many incarnations (well, at least the good ones anyway). How did he suddenly grow one now? Do you think a robot needs to eat? More likely than not, Bay and his crack staff probably thought to have a mouth to give the robot a little bit of humanity … but he’s a freakin’ CGI robot in a mindless action movie! Shoulda gave that “humanity” to the actual human actors in the film.
• The Matrix Reloaded … Again?
  The writers finally introduced The Matrix of Leadership, the Autobot talisman that is passed from leader to leader and gives its user immense power. One problem: they already messed up this piece of Transformer lore by calling it the All Spark Cube in the first movie. So, now, in the sequel, they rehash this plot device, having Sam once again inject the Matrix/Cube into Optimus to save the day. Um, if you’re not going to do it right the first time, try not to repeat yourself the second time around.

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